


darkness

by orphan_account



Category: Soul Eater
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hallucinations, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, Madness, Paranoia, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sleep Deprivation, why do i make kid suffer
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-03
Packaged: 2019-06-04 18:56:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15153506
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: kid can't sleep.





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> kid can't sleep.

It was... dark... Very dark, too dark, just darkness…

_ nothingness. _

he realized it now, the ultimate balance in this world...the only way things  _ should  _ be.    
**_it's in your hands, shinigami-kun._ **

**_“you can….create a perfect world. a balanced world…”_ **

the madness in his soul, it had always been there, and now…

**_with my help._ **

“no..” he felt his chest tightening.

“ **_aren't you sick of being a blind puppet, little brother?”_ **

“enough!” Kid screamed, swimming in the inky blackness of wherever he was, toward the surface. he could see the white, the light, the opening- just out of reach. 

he could feel his fingertips reach it,  but before he knew what to do, something that felt like scarves had wrapped around his legs, pulling him deeper down into the blackness, the darkness, the cold substance enveloping his body, the fleshy tendrils slowly wrapping all around him and constricting his movement. there was nothing he could do except get pulled down. 

he screamed, but his voice was silent. he felt like he was drowning, he couldn't breathe, and then-

a face in front of him. 3 eyes. rotting teeth. black and white hair poking out of flesh bandages, above the immobilized boy, drool dripping down onto his face. 

it was the kishin they'd defeated a exactly a month ago.

death the Kid screamed, bolting upright in his bed.

he panted, sweat rolling down his face, eyes relaxing when he realized he was home. he’d had this same dream for countless nights now, the dream with the kishin. when he was near, kid felt almost a magnetic pull towards the monster- but had dismissed it as nothing. 

and now…

“kid! what’s wrong?!” 

Liz had slammed his doors open, but when she saw him, her shoulders relaxed. 

“I heard something, are you okay..?” she wondered hesitantly, taking in the state of her meister. 

“it was nothing, liz. you're hearing things. and don't come in here without knocking, please.” 

he reminded, slipping out of bed and turning away from her. 

“yeah, whatever. you better get ready or else we’ll be late again.” Liz said, turning out of the door. she couldn't help but let her eyes linger on her meister for a little too long, brows quirked. it was obvious he'd been sleeping even less than usual, dark circles pressed under each golden eye- and she was certain she’d heard him screaming a minute ago. it did no good to try and pry with kid, though, the other’s emotions perpetually blocked off. 

she shut the door behind her, feeling even more worry as she recalled how strange he’d been acting. He didn't seem like himself, always distracted, always tired, snappy, and just not all  _ there.  _ she wished he would tell her what's going on, but he deflected her whenever she asked. 

-

_ what's going on with me…?  _

death the kid asked himself, taking in his appearance in one of the two mirrors in his room. the lack of sleep was getting to him, his movements jittery and the world dizzy each time he blinked his tired eyes. they were red-rimmed, and darkened underneath. “I look awful..” 

he played with his hair which was always stuck up when he woke up. grabbing a comb, he carefully carded through it, the mess becoming more contained as he placed each hair perfectly around his face, the sanzu lines that he despised (for more reasons than one, now,) fell back into place, edges straight.

he was so focused that he almost didn't notice the figure just outside of the mirrors frame.

almost.

a dark form appeared behind him, and he felt the magnetic pull again, the air growing thick with fear as he whipped around quickly, drawing in a quick breath as he did. it was the same figure he’d seen 3 days before, when he was walking home alone. 

“show yourself!” he let the words rip out of his throat, throwing up his hands in defense.

but there was nothing there, the pull in the air dissipating as soon as it had arrived. 

he let out a shaky breath, shutting his eyes tightly.

‘I just need sleep...that's all..’

he dismissed everything that he saw, the dream, the voices he could swear he didn't hear. 

but they were all there. 

_ there's no way the kishin’s madness can still be hanging in the air, we defeated him. Maka defeated him, he's gone.  _

he told himself, pulling on a pressed white shirt, taking one of his suit vests from the rack in his closet. it was summer now, so he had switched from a jacket to a vest. not that the heat had bothered him anyway. he finished getting dressed, clipping on his father’s crest tie, letting his fingers linger on the steel decoration.

**_you worship a monster._ **

the words wormed their way into his head like an insect, making him jump. 

he hesitantly turned around.

“l-liz? is that you?” 

he felt pathetic at how weak he sounded.  _ it was nothing. I'm hearing things because I'm tired. _

the doors swung open again, revealing his two weapons.

“damn, are you done yet? we’re already 30 minutes late, kid.” 

he stared at her as she inspected a nail, bracelets clinking as she planted a slender arm on her hip.

“...kid? you okay?”

she said, worry slipped into her words.

“you look like you just saw a ghost.”

she added, chuckling at the end. ghosts had only ever scared liz, after all.

he shook his head, walking briskly towards them.

“I'm fine. let's go already.” he commanded, pushing past them, finishing fastening the clip on his tie. 

\---

“finally, the happy little trio shows up. just because you're lord death’s son doesn't excuse you from tardiness, kid. this is the third time this week you've been late.” 

professor stein glowers down at the trio as they walked in.

“next time you can listen to the lesson from the hall.” he adds, as if liz or patty cared. kid did, though, even if he already knew the material- he hated being disrespectful, and he hated being late, and he wanted liz and patty to learn the lesson material.

“excuse us, professor.” he apologized, and stein’s gaze lingered on him for longer than needed before he allowed them to continue to their seats. 

the three of them sat in their spots between maka and black☆star, kid squarely in the center of his demon guns. 

Maka waved at them from her position next to liz, the girls waving back. kid didn't notice. 

class dragged on, stein picking up from where he left off on their lessons from before all the disaster had struck and the academy's attention had been turned to arachne and the kishin.

“boring…” black☆star muttered under his breath, legs thrown up on the table. usually kid would tell him to get them off and not disrespect his father’s school, but he couldn't be bothered today because his eyelids felt like they had weights on them, desperately trying to keep from falling asleep. 

he had his head in his palm, yellow eyes dull and dropping shut. he wasn't sleeping yet, just resting his eyes, stein’s monotonous voice occupying his head space as he tried not to give in to sleep. 

it was no use, soon enough he had drifted off. 

normally liz would take the opportunity to prank him and sweep his arm out from underneath him, but she felt like he really needed the sleep this time. Stein must have felt the same way, as he had definitely noticed kid sleeping- but didn't say anything. normally the stern doctor  _ never  _ tolerated sleeping in his class. 

Liz looked at him, his face looking peaceful for the first time in a while, long lashes against pale grey skin, slender ringed fingers pressed against his cheek.

she felt two fingers tap her arm, turning her head to see maka getting her attention.

“hm?”

“liz...has kid been acting weird lately, or is it just me?”

maka asked, eyebrows cinched.

Liz sighed, regarding maka.

“yeah...he is. he hasn't been sleeping or eating... and he seems so distracted all the time. this morning, I even heard him talking to himself.” 

she bit her lip, as if she was saying things that she shouldn't. it was maka, though- one of their closest friends. she deserved to know.

Maka looked back towards the doctor who was speaking, tapping her pencil.

“huh ….I hope he’s okay.” 

that was the last the two of them said for a while, the minutes scraping on as their teacher lectured. 

kid didn't stir once.

he kept drifting in and out of a full sleep, catching bits and pieces of their teachers words, but not registering them as anything more than vocal soup. he felt himself drift away again, but this time, instead of being met blackness, a face appeared, burned into his eyelids as  he felt the kishins madness scream at him, pull him in, as if he was falling. the face was that of asura, all the bandages pulled back to reveal his intense red eyes. 

the minute he appeared, kid awoke, springing out of his seat so quickly that his knees smacked roughly against the table. 

he gasped, arms thrown up in defense, panting heavily. 

all eyes in the room turned to the sudden action, before kid realized it had just been another dream. he stood awkwardly for a moment, before he felt patty tug on his clothes, prompting him to sit back down, a blush on her cheeks. 

“that's what you get for sleeping in my class. ” Stein said irritably, the rest of their classmates snickering as kid sat back down, breaths still coming in and out with labor. the face he’d seen was burned into his memory, but what was worse was the feeling he’d gotten. it was like a blanket of madness had settled on him, unmoving, heavy as lead, if only for just a moment. 

he felt liz’s hand on his shoulder, felt the eyes of all his friends concernedly watching him as he placed his fingers on his forehead, trying to gather his composure.

“you okay, dude?” black☆star whispered, drawing kid’s gaze.

“sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep.” 

“are you sure you don't want to go wash your face or s-” 

“I'm  _ fine,  _ liz, for the last time.” he snapped at his weapon, and she removed her hand under his yellow glare. 

he felt Maka’s eyes on him, she was the only one still staring. 

he tried his best to ignore it, eyebrows clinching in annoyance. he couldn't tell her to stop, he couldn’t even bring himself to shoot her a glare. she was too kind, too earnest. 

he stared at the chalkboard, stein’s messy handwriting making his skin crawl, his chest constricting. he wished he could go up there and fix it, make it even, make it precise and exact. he felt Maka’s gaze leave him, glad to not be studied any longer. 

the entire room seemed disgusting to him now. not just the usual messy papers on stein’s desk, the asymmetrical arrangement of documents and folders on the walls, but  _ everything  _ about it. the cream color of the walls made him feel sick, the melted candles on every desk causing him to drum his fingers. the brown wooden seating reminded him of shit, even the smell in the air seemed to be suffocating. 

_ how dull.  _

his teachers voice grated against his ears, the fly in the room smacking against the window and making him want to blast the thing out of existence. his fist tightened, frown forming on his face. it all seemed so wrong.

**_this world is wrong._ **

the voice from his dreams infiltrated his thoughts for the second time, making him jump ever so slightly, the darkness in the corner of the room prompting him to slowly slide his eyes over to the figure, breath catching in his throat. no matter what he did, it was like he couldn't look directly at the thing, it was always just in the corner of his eye. he felt his fist start shaking,  breath stuttering in and out. 

he didn't feel liz’s long, gentle fingers touch his arm, his eyes desperately trying to lock onto whatever the thing was. he wanted to kill it, once and for all. 

“liz, transform…” he spoke, eyes not leaving the figure, catching some of his friends’ attention.

“what…? why?” 

“that thing...we need to kill it.” 

he whispered, meaning to sound more threatening, but his voice came out soft and shaking. he hated that. 

Liz looked in the direction he was pointing, only to find nothing but the corner of the room. 

she looked back towards him, eyebrows drawn together. 

“kid..” 

“excuse me, you two, if you’d like not to participate in my next dissection as subjects I suggest you shut up,  _ now _ !” 

the professors strong and irritated voice broke through kid’s thoughts, the creature slipping away into the darkness once again. 

the room became clear again, the hazy disgust he'd felt before dissipating as clarity was brought to his mind. 

“uh, actually, can we be excused for a moment, professor?” he heard liz’s voice sound, her hand raised in the air. Stein glared at her, but something about kid’s behavior and the seriousness in her tone had concerned him. he would have said no to her request if he wasn't also worried, and kid had disrupted class so many times that day that he was considering asking the boy to leave and stand in the hall in the first place. 

“fine. be back in 10 minutes, if you're not it’ll be unexcused.” he stated.

“wait, liz-” 

she had grabbed him from around the wrist, pulling him down the steps and out of the room quickly, the door clacking shut roughly behind them. Maka and the others stared, more concerned now than ever. 

once they were in the hall, kid shook his wrist away from her grip.

“what the hell, why did you-”

“tell me what's going on, right now. I've had enough. I know you like to be secretive for no fucking reason, but you're worrying everyone, kid. tell me!” 

she shrieked, her earnesty suprising the meister.

he softened his gaze, drawing in a breath.

“Nothing-”

“bullshit!” 

she knew he was going to deflect her, he was going to say ‘nothings wrong,’ like he always had. not this time.

“tell me what's wrong. it's not ‘nothing.’ you haven't been sleeping, you've barely eaten anything, and now you're having nightmares in the middle of class and pointing at things that aren't even  _ there.  _ please….kid, please just...you can talk to me, okay?” she pleaded with him, taking his cold hand in hers. 

_ ‘not even there?’ _

he was surprised by her desperation, blinking again her a few times before gazing at the floor, eyebrows drawing together.

“I don't know.” 

he muttered, focusing on the warmth cupping his fingers.

“you don't know…?”

“I haven't been able to sleep, you're right. and I haven't slept for so long that I'm starting to...see things, I guess.” he admitted, catching his lip between his teeth.

“that's all. there's nothing to be worried over, I just need sleep.” he said, trying to comfort his weapon. he assumed the nightmares were simply caused by the stress of the academy's reparations which he had to oversee, and the irritation of his headaches ever since his sanzu lines had connected that day. there was no reason to make liz worry over nothing. 

she didn't want to accept that answer.

“why can't you sleep?” 

she asked, eyes locked onto him.

“I don't know. I'll figure it out, though.” 

he didn't tell her about the dreams.

she took her hand back. 

“well you better ‘figure it out’ quickly. maybe we should talk to your dad…?” 

**_that man will do nothing but lie to you like he always has._ **

the voice in his head returned, this time it didn't even make him jump.

“there's no need to bother him with this.” 


	2. Chapter 2

the next few days, kid had gone on without incident, although he still wasn't sleeping as much as he should. at least he had gotten one good night , the dream not waking him until morning when he needed to wake up anyways. Liz’s worries didn't disappear, nor did maka or the others, but they didn't pester him about it. he seemed to be getting over whatever it was, slowly returning to his regular self. when they made plans to hang out at Maka’s apartment, he had even been smiling and laughing with the rest of them, much to Maka’s relief. his actions in class that day had been nothing short of alarming, but he'd either been doing a better job of hiding his troubles, or actually getting better.

he'd slipped up once and let his worried glance rest on his hallucination, prompting an

“are you okay, kid?” 

from maka while they were at her place, but he quickly shook his head, and dismissed her worries.

he was doing better.

or so it seemed.

really, he’d been seeing it, hearing it all, but he knew nobody else could, and therefore didn't let his eyes stray, or jump when he heard non-human voices intrude in his brain. he wouldn't let people worry. 

he actually let himself have fun with the others, laughing along with their jokes, blushing when black☆star teased him, complaining when the other boy let his arm drape across the reaper’s back. he'd even been able to completely distract himself from the dark form that followed him, almost forgetting about it completely in the midst of his friends. he was sure that it would go away eventually, just a figment of his imagination caused by his headaches and insomnia. 

he allowed himself to ignore it the best he could, not letting the creature that appeared in the corner of his eye irritate him. 

it wasn't like everyone still couldn't tell that he wasn't feeling like himself, though. they let him be because kid didn't ever talk about his problems in the first place, so they felt nothing could be done. he was getting better anyways, right? after their friends had left for the night, maka turned to soul, plopping down next to him on the couch.

“kid seems to be doing better.” she said with a small smile, Soul's crimson eyes rested on her face.

“yeah...that guy needs to take a chill pill once in a while.” 

maka ignored soul’s callous comment.

“I was worried, after what happened in class. it was like he was pointing at nothing, as if..” she trailed off, eyebrow quirking ever so slightly, but shook that thought away.

“he's been so distant lately, too. I'm glad he had fun tonight.” she said with an exhale, leaning back. 

Soul wasn't so sure.

“yeah.. I guess.” 

\---

back at gallows manor, patty rambled on about how yummy the food maka had made was as the trio walked up the winding path to their home. kid had been relatively quiet as he rolled down the path, beelzebub taking him at the girls’ pace, hands relaxed in his pockets. it was dark enough outside that the creature didn't appear to him, making him feel at peace for the first time in a while. he reminisced on the events of that night fondly, grateful for his friends. he had always been so lonely before he met liz and patty, and since then it was like his entire world opened up. at first liz and patty had only been interested in his money, but over the course of 3 years they had developed a real bond with him. they cared about him.

**_are you so sure about that?_ **

he ignored it, the faith he had in his weapons and his friends unwavering. 

the group entered, liz stretching as she and patty headed for the living room.

“d’you think you could make dinner soon, kid? it's your turn.” Liz asked. 

he balked, stopping in his tracks.

“wha- aren't you full from the food at maka’s?” 

“the walk home made me hungry!” Patty giggled as she laid across the couch next to her sister.

“honestly….” he sighed.

“Let me shower first, then I'll make you something.” he mumbled, liz humming in agreement. 

He’d been so relaxed that day that he had nearly forgotten about the figure that was trailing him.

when he turned around, he remembered all too quickly. the thing had returned to the corner of his eye, the pull of it’s madness locking onto his soul once more. he jumped, but looked over his shoulder to make sure liz or patty didn't see. they were too busy bickering because patty had stuck something in her sister’s  long hair. 

he gulped, turning back around to face the thing, doing his best to ignore it has he pushed past into the bathroom,

hand trembling ever so slightly as he gripped the door handle, stepping inside. he'd forgotten to grab clean clothes from his room, but the feeling in the air had made him forget what he was doing almost entirely. he looked in the mirror, gripping the sink with bloodless knuckles.

“calm down...it's nothing..it's not there.”

he took off his vest, hanging it neatly on the hook, and started on his shirt buttons. he didn't get far.

the madness in the air hung so thick around him that it made his head swim, his condition quickly deteriorating second by second, the small room making the figure seem bigger than it had before, it’s dark tendrils worming their way across the walls and ceiling.

he willed himself not to look at it, even though he could feel it’s presence creeping up on him, closer and closer, the room slowly becoming engulfed in darkness. he begged himself not to look now, not because he didn't believe it was real.

this time, it was because he was terrified. overwhelming fear gripped his soul, and it was all he could do to stare at the trembling and wide eyed reflection in the mirror, breath going from stuttering and afraid to non existent. his lungs didn't work anymore.

his brain didn't work anymore, either, when he felt fleshy things slink their way onto his shoulders, slimy and licking.

he whipped his head upwards, only to find that the ceiling was overcome with black slime, dripping and pooling down onto his shoulders and face, into his mouth which hung open. 

when he looked back towards the mirror, his reflection betrayed him. he had no face, instead replaced with bandages, 3 eyes painted on top. he sucked in a breath, lifting his fingers to claw at them, tugging them away from his mouth only to reveal a devilish grin that didn't belong to him. 

**_that's who you're meant to be, little brother._ **

his reflection spoke to him, and he reacted by screaming and hurling a fist into the mirror, the glass shattering beneath  his knuckles, the shards embedding themselves underneath his skin. 

**_father has been lying to you. you only exist as his puppet, an idealized version of himself whose only purpose is to keep the academy going like clockwork after he’s gone._ **

kid screamed when the kishin spoke to him, falling to his knees, digging a bloody hand into his hair. 

**_you are weak. but I can help._ **

the glass all around him reflected back to him the same vision from before.

**_the world you want is one that only you can create._ **

“shut up! shut up! shut up!” 

he didn't hear the door handle jigging widly, he didn't hear liz and patty begging him to open the door. 

**_order, that's what you were born to protect. you'll never achieve your destiny...not without the madness to guide you._ **

“BE QUIET, DAMN YOU!” 

**_no more fear._ **

“SHUT  _ UP!”   _

the door crashed open, liz having kicked it down. she gasped when she saw her meister, bloody, surrounded by broken glass. the mirror had been destroyed, and judging by the glass in his hand, he’d punched it. he was shaking wildly, tears tracking his face as he screamed.

she rushed toward him, kneeling down, not caring that the glass dug into her knees. Patty just stood in the door frame, hands cupped over her mouth. 

“kid!”

Liz shrieked, and he froze at the sound of her voice. 

she had her hands firmly planted on his shoulders, chest heaving with concern for her meister. 

he shook violently under her palms, but he very slowly lowered his arms, lifting his eyes to look at her. he expected to see the kishin’s face again, but was instead met with that of his weapon. she looked at him with wide eyes, teeth clenched together as she stared at him, meeting his terrified yellow gaze.

“kid…can you hear me? ” she said again, softly this time. he didn't answer her, but she continued.

“it's just us, okay? liz and patty. you're safe.” 

he did not believe her so easily, instead lifting his trembling hands to touch her face, running them over her warm skin, in disbelief that it was really her.

“liz...is it really you…?” he voiced, clouded with fear and skepticism.

she gulped down the stone in her throat.

“it's me.” her voice shook, tears threatening to spill. she wasn't good at  _ not  _ crying when people she cared about cried. 

she grabbed his shaking hand, not caring that there was still glass in his knuckes, not caring that his slimy blood now coated her hand as well. 

she felt relieved when he exhaled, letting his shoulders drop. he could tell it was her. he could feel she and Patty’s souls. 

if this was another trick, something would have happened by now. 

“it's really you…” he said, as if he was still testing the environment. the room was still dripping, but it slowly dissipated, the filth returning to where it had come from.

“just breathe, okay? take a deep breath..” Liz said, as if she were rehearsing from a script. this wasn't one of his panic-attacks, though- this was something entirely different.

something that made her chest ache. 

something that she had tried so hard to push away, to not want to believe. 

kid was...

 

he let himself fall against liz’s chest, watching as the black slime crawled across the white tile floor. he felt liz’s arms wrapping around him, delicate fingers carding through his hair. 

“sorry. I'm just tired.” he said into her chest, voice soft and unconvincing, still shaking with the remnants of the fear he’d felt. the kishin’s fear.

Liz didn't respond, eyes locked onto his injured hand. 

Patty had kneeled next to them too, confused as to what exactly was happening, but overcome with sadness that kid was in pain. 

kid was quick to sit back up, wiping his eyes quickly with his sleeve, before regarding both his weapons.

“girls, I have something important to say, so please listen carefully.” he commanded their attention, as if he didn't have it in full already.

“right now, I don't exactly know...what's going on. until I figure it out, please don't tell anybody about this. can you promise me?” he asked, his voice earnest and his eyes pleading.

“no, we...you need someone to help you. I'm sure if we talked to your father-” 

“ _ NO!”  _

Liz flinched when he yelled, and he quickly felt guilty, locking his eyes back onto the slime that was ever so slowly retreating. his body was still shaking slightly, leftovers from the intense fear he had felt.

“i-sorry. it's just that I doubt he would help. he doesn't trust me, he lies to me.” 

Kid bit out, and liz was utterly suprised to hear him speak ill of his father. 

“I'm sure whatever going on is nothing. I just need to rest, surely…” 

he tried to convince himself, but it sounded more and more like lies, even to him.

“but...you don't have to be alone.” 

“I’m not.” he feigned a smile for them.

“please, you two...just keep your mouths shut for now. no need to over-complicate things.” 

he asked, the pain in his hand growing worse by the second.

Liz swallowed a protest, instead standing up, her sister helping their meister to his feet as well.

“whatever. let's get your hand all cleaned up.” 

of course, kid insisted that he do it on his own, picking the glass shards out, using a microscope for accuracy before wrapping it up in bandages, resisting the urge to needlessly wrap the other hand for the sake of symmetry. he would then clean up the bathroom on his own, repair the door on his own, do anything he could to busy himself and avoid sleeping only to  become subject to the dream again.


	3. Chapter 3

he wasn't in class the next day. the empty seat in-between liz and patty wasn't exactly uncommon, as kid was always a busy person, but it seemed he hadn't been excused by his father this time like usual, stein asking his weapons why he wasn't there when they walked in, their conversation hidden by the chatter of the other students.

“where's kid?” the professor asked simply, stopping liz and patty at his desk when they walked in before class started. 

Liz and patty hesitantly looked at one another, and it took several long moments for liz to gather the courage to lie to the professor. it took everything she had not to tell him about what had been happening, but she knew kid wouldn't forgive her if she said anything. 

“well…? where is he?” 

Stein asked again, eyebrow quirked at the girls’ silence.

“kid is sick.” Liz stated, averting her eyes. It wasn't exactly a lie.

“he has a cold.” she added, feeling her first explanation wasn't sufficient. now, that part was a lie.

“that would make sense, liz, if grim reapers could even contract colds in the first place.” 

Liz cursed herself. she had forgotten who she was talking to, a doctor who knew everything there was to know about health, be it that of humans or otherwise. 

she didn't know what to say to him, mouth trying to form some kind of defense, but she couldn't at the moment think of anything. for once, patty kept quiet as well.

Stein broke the silence, glaring up at them from his swivel chair as the bell rang and the other students took their seats.

“girls, if there is something you aren't telling me, I advise you for your meister’s sake that you do. we’ll talk after class, think long and hard about if you want to keep lying or not.” 

Stein had good intentions. Stein cared for his students. Liz and patty both trusted him, but…

they pushed past him and took their seats, feeling like they'd already failed at the task their meister had given them. 

secretly, though, liz was desperate for stein’s help.

the more she thought about it during class, the more it became apparent to her that she should tell him. it wasn't normal, and she doubted kid could fix it on his own because if he could, he would have done it by now. she wanted to tell maka about it, she knew their leader was level headed and would probably know what to do, but that was probably the person that kid would probably not want to know about his troubles more than anyone else. he'd said before that he hated pity, and hated to be pitied, or to have people worry about him which is why he didn't discuss personal matters often at all. of course he was always there for friends who needed it, even if he wasn't the most perceptive when it came to other’s emotions. kid wasn't going to accept help or ask for it of he needed it, that's why Liz needed to put her foot down and force him into it. seeing her usually calm and collected meister so paranoid and afraid as of late had really made her scared. he was so brave, he was strong, and talented, it was as if nothing could stop him. but now, he seemed like a shell. 

Liz knew what she wanted to do.

what she had to do.

her racing thoughts had made that class go by quickly, she had barely even heard a word stein said, and when they were given time to work on assignments, she didn't do them. she didn't even start and stop halfway through out of boredom like she usually did, head filled with too many thoughts and anxieties about what exactly the school would do to help kid. 

probably nothing bad. 

“liz are you okay?” 

she turned her head to the voice that commanded her, maka. 

they kept their voices down because other students were trying to work, but at least they could have a conversation among the chatter.

Liz didn't answer, instead shrugging and pretending like she wasn't dying to tell her friend everything. 

“Is it about kid?” 

maka was so perceptive. 

Liz sighed, eyeing patty, who had stopped doodling on her worksheet at the mention of kid’s name.

the older thompson sister leaned back, makas eyes trailing her.

“yeah.” 

Liz answered simply, the word like a dam holding back all of the others that threatened to spill.

“...did something happen?”

maka asked softly, liz not meeting her gaze. Soul and blackstar and tsubaki were listening in as well, all hoping for some kind of explanation.

“...yeah. but, he told us not to say anything about it.” 

maka felt irritated that secrets were being kept, even after all they'd been through.

“you can tell us...we're friends.” 

she tried to reason with liz, but the other just shook her head.

“sorry, maka. he told us not to.” 

and that was that. 

instead of talking to the professor after class, liz took patty right past him and onto their specialty weapon class, tsubaki and soul going with them, maka and blackstar headed in the other direction for their respective classes. 

Liz couldn't bring herself to disobey kid’s wishes.

\--

a week passed with no sign of death the kid at school or anywhere else. Maka’s irritation grew into anger that liz and patty wouldn't tell anyone where he was, blackstar feeling the same. they were overwhelmed with curiosity and worry for their friend, and on Wednesday of the next week when kid still hadn't shown up to school or anywhere else, maka had had enough. after homeroom was over, she had gripped liz’s arm tightly, yanking her into the girls bathroom, the other preparing herself for what was coming. given kid’s worsening condition at home, she didn't know if she could keep quiet any longer. she didn't know if she should.

the dam was about to break.

Patty followed them in, as expected, the sisters were never apart.

“tell me what's going on with him. right now.” 

maka glared up at liz, eyes intense. it reminded liz of how she had interrogated kid that day, and she realized that maka was feeling the same worry and frustration that she had felt that day. 

she bit her lip, looking down.

Maka softened her grip when she realized liz was about to cry.

“I don't care if he doesn't want you to say anything, obviously something is wrong and he's not coming to school. what  _ happened _ , liz? please...maybe we can help, whatever it is.”

Liz didn't even know where to start. she didn't even want to think about it. kid hadn't left his room for a week. every time she knocked, he screamed at her to go away, not out of hostility, but like the cries of a wounded animal that didn't want to be hurt. he seemed to be getting worse and worse all too quickly, and frankly she didn't even know what to say to maka.

so she didn't say anything. she didn't even look at her, and she felt Maka’s frustration growing by the second. 

“fine then! I'll just go check on him by myself!” she said firmly, shoving past liz.

“wait, maka-chan!” Patty tried, but Maka had left out the door. Soul had already gone to his weapons class as per Maka’s request, but black☆star was waiting outside the stall for maka, and followed her as she charged through the hall.

“maka, where ya going? class is the other way, dummy-”

“I'm going to check on kid.” she said, voice determined. 

black☆star caught up to her, trotting beside the girl, arms behind his head.

“why are you coming?”

she asked him, not glancing in his direction.

“us meisters gotta stick together, right?” he replied, and she smiled at his answer.

“right.” 

maka and black☆star quickly headed in the direction of gallows manor, the thompson guns not far behind, feeling powerless now. 

even though, they were grateful that maka was coming to help. they got there in 10 minutes.

they dashed up the path and up the stairs, black☆star forcing the doors to kid’s home open. 

it was dark inside, none of the lights on, none of the candles lit. 

Maka flipped the light switch for the foyer, and was taken aback by how messy the place was. it was obviously the Thompson sister’s doing, but that had meant that kid wasn't picking up after them, and judging by the dust covering the house, he hadn't been up to his usual tasks.

“Is he...not here?” 

maka asked, eyeing one of the picture frames in the hall that was noticeably crooked. kid never would have allowed that.

“no...he's here. he's locked himself in his room for 12 days now…” Liz admitted sullenly, causing both maka and black☆star to whip around and face her.

“ _ what?! why?”  _ maka asked, shocked at liz’s confession.

she was taken back by the tears in liz’s eyes.

“I'm sorry we didn't tell you….he wouldn't have forgiven us if we did, that's what he said.” 

“Why…?”

“after we came home from your apartment that day, he started hallucinating. it was so bad that he broke his hand punching out the mirror in our bathroom...he was screaming, and…” the stone in her throat barely allowed her to continue.

“Then he told us not to say anything and that he could handle it on his own. then he locked himself away. he only comes out when we aren't here..he talks to himself, and screams out of fear...”

she whimpered, averting maka and black☆star’s gaze, patty taking her sister’s hand.

“well where the hell is he?” black☆star commanded, almost menacingly.

Maka swallowed thickly.  _ hallucinations…?  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter was kinda short! next one will be longer


End file.
